4 Months
by writeallnight
Summary: Kensi has lied to countless suspects and witnesses before. It's just part of the job. But something about this lie is sticking with her. Post ep for "The Silo."


A/N: Remember that time I said I would probably write some more post Silo fics? Yeah...It basically writes itself folks. I can't help it. Thanks to all who reviewed "Broken Hallelujah." Hopefully this one will cause a few less tears!

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 _"Okay, sorry, I just, I have a four month old."_

It was NCIS Tradecraft 101: Bond with your subject. It calmed them and created a sense of trust that was essential, especially when dealing with someone difficult or hysterical like Tiffany Miller.

Kensi had learned a long time ago how to make the lies roll off her tongue so they sounded like truth. The best, most convincing lies had to feel real enough to you that if further questions were asked you could answer them without hesitation.

Telling someone she had a child wasn't a new lie. In fact it was a standby of hers. But somehow when she had said it to Tiffany, it felt different.

She knew Deeks wanted kids. And theoretically she did too. Their conversations about it had always been abstract enough for her not to examine her feelings about the idea too deeply. She'd had a rather disjointed childhood and she didn't want to think about what that meant for her as a parent.

The kids discussion was always presented in a "someday" kind of way, like that trip to Paris they were going to take and the boat they were going to buy. There was time for all of that in the future.

But suddenly, the future hadn't seemed very realistic as she squirmed through what felt like a million yards of metal tubing. She'd practically felt the clock running down on her life. And when she'd thrown that grenade and covered her head, she hadn't watched her life flash before her eyes.

Instead she had seen her belly, rounded with child. She had watched as Deeks tucked a little girl with blonde curls into bed. She had seen the three of them playing at the beach, building sandcastles, and chasing seagulls. She had seen bicycles and birthday parties and ballet classes. She had seen the future she would never have if it all ended in that pipe. A future she suddenly, desperately wanted the possibility of.

Now, a day later, Kensi stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection. Slowly she placed a hand on her flat belly. There was no one in there right now. But there could be, if she wanted it.

She smiled tenderly as she thought about how it would feel to have someone growing inside her, a little person who was half her and half Deeks. She imagined feeling their baby kick and move. She imagined reading stories and playing music to her baby bump and Deeks kissing them both good night as they turned out the lights.

For the first time, she let herself think about how different life would be if it became a reality, if she really did have a four-month old at home. She couldn't imagine crawling through drainpipes and shooting bad guys all day, then coming home to have family dinner like nothing had happened. She would have to leave NCIS. Six months ago the thought would have shaken her. But now…she thought it might be okay. Actually, better than okay. She might finally be ready for this.

Her heart fluttered at the thought. She was ready to be a mom.

"Hey." Deeks joined her in the bathroom, wrapping his arms around her and placing a kiss on her shoulder. "You all right?"

"Do you want to have a baby?"

His eyebrows rose. "Right now? Because we have to be at work in like ten minutes. And I know we've never done the baby-making thing before, but something tells me it takes a little longer than that."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Not right this second. Maybe not even this year. But…soon."

"Really?" He seemed at a loss for words. "Are you serious?"

She turned so she could look directly into his eyes. "Yeah. I am."

"What about work?"

She brushed a few stray curls out of his eyes. "I used to think that NCIS was everything for me. After Jack, when I never thought I'd love anyone again, I decided it was all I needed. Making a difference in the world felt right. It felt immediate and useful and I clung to it. But now…now I have you. And NCIS isn't my whole world anymore. So if you're ready to do this, I am too. This year has been really hard. And I'm tired of waiting to start our future together. I want a family for us."

He leaned forward, capturing her lips with his own. It was a long, slow, sweet kiss that said more than words could. "I love you," he finally said when they stopped to breathe.

"I love you too."

"A baby."

"Yeah." She leaned her head against his chest as his arms wrapped around her waist, excitement flickering in her heart. "A baby."

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A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


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